Welcome to Trinity Blood Counceling Center
by Mari Kazara
Summary: Come have fun with Dr. Mari and friends, but you might want to bring your own strait jacket. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

Mari: Hello everyone my name is Dr. Mari Kazara. Cardinal Catirina Sforza has enrolled you in this program to help better united and strengthen you as a group. Now does ever one have a name tag?

Abel: My pen won't write. Can I have another one?

Leon: I don't see why we have to wear these stupid name tags.

Tres: I believe its purpose is so that the doctor can identify us.

Kate: I think I'm going to have a problem with this one.

Mari: Okay is there any questions?

Paula: Why our weapons were forcefully taken from us.

Mari: That's a very good question. Can any answer that?

Leon: So we won't we won't be tempted to use it on our counselor or her staff.

Mari: Very amusing Leon. Any one who is serious?

Abel: We'll feel happy instead of ,like, wanting to... um... you know... fight.

Mari: Good, Abel. We tend to express ourselves a lot less negatively and without aggression in the absence of weapons. Another one is that it eliminates competition between our fellow workers. Whose weapon is better and so forth. Remember the purpose of these sessions is to help us grow closer as a group.

Hugue: What if we don't want to get any closer.

Mari: What you want and what you need are two different things. I will be personally analyzing each of you starting today with...um... Abel Nightroad:, Leon Garcia de Asturias, and Tres Iqus. Then we will be meeting again in the Saturday after next for another session. I have given each of you a work sheet to write your goals and what you expect to get out of this class. You don't have to share the information unless you want to. I hope each of you will take this class seriously, as I know that it will help this become a stronger group , as more dedicated individuals. Thank you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mr. Nightroad, Leon Garcia de Asturias, and Iqus, I want you to know that anything that we discuss together is confidential and will get no farther then this room, Okay?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Abel Nightroad **

Mari: Well, Abel I defiantly see that you are suffering from unnecessary guilt.

Abel: I disagree, I think it's very necessary.

Mari: Rebellion in your youth is not an uncommon thing. Many people, in their youth, have the feeling that they are different that they just don't fit in. The either become depressed by this differenced of defiant. You choose the latter. Some times this difference is blamed on there environment or those the feel are responsible, such as parents or other authority figures. They are constantly battle for supremacy over these people or sometimes they feel that this people even need to be punished.

Now sometimes these young people have someone who trys to guide away from this thinking. Sometimes its teacher or in your case your surrogate mother, Lilith. When she died you put all the blame on yourself and over time the guilt has been building itself up in you mind.The first mistake you made was to mourn for nine hundred years. Mourning period should never extend over six hundred years. By that time healing process should start to take place and you need to start moving on with your life.

But it seem that you still haven't been able to get over that guilt and so it has started to manifest it self into different forms.One is a child like personality. When in this frame of mind you are silly and childish. Like a kid, you find you self drawn to sugar and candy and gobble them down reservation. It' gives you an air of innocence and makes you feel sweet and innocent and that others perceive you as the same.

Abel: I do not take a child like form, you big meanie.

Mari: The other personality is this power form, or as you call it your Crusnik form. In this frame of mind you feel all powerful, as if you are in control. This is a side of you that you like to display in front of strangers but never in front of people you know, for fear that the might discover your past.

Abel: I do change. You make it sound like I have bipolar or something.

Mari: Now I suggest that we schedule to meet again in about a week to discuss further this problem. This book" Mourning, Misery, and Moving On" was written by a man who just like you had his surrogate mother killed by his brother and mourned for nine hundred years. I think that it will help you a lot.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Leon Garcia de Asturias**

Mari: If you must address me, you will call me Dr. Mari or Dr. Kazara and refrain from the other names you have been using.

Leon: Look I just call them like I see them.

Mari: Your attitude toward this session has been nothing but negativity and unresponsiveness. I think it is only fair to warn you that this type of behavior will only prolong you amounts of visits you are demand to partake in.

Leon: I think I was better off in prison.

Mari: Since you refuse to tell me anything about yourself I have gathered some information from Cardinal Caterina. It seems that you have had problems with you marriage in the past and some sort of problems with your local clergymen. You have distanced yourself from your daughter and cut all connections with her.

Leon: Wow, did you get the PG version or what.

Mari: Well, obviously your problem is with women and their role in society, as it conflict your ideas and emotions.

Leon: What?

Mari: You have a fear of women.

Leon: Fear of women. How would you like to take this outside?

Mari: I didn't mean a physical fear of women, I mean, you fear women who hold position of power in this country. You constant demeaning remarks about Cardinal Caterina prove this to be true.

Leon: She put you up to this didn't she?

Mari: Look at the way you dress.

Leon: Oh, so that's it. You've been checking me out. Sorry babe, you're not my type.

Mari: I was talking about how appearance is a rather outlandish display of masculinity. You do this so that people are aware that you have no female influence over you.This attitude causes atomicity between you and the female members of you group. I want you to respect them, Leon, treat them as equals.

Leon: Whenever I go on dates I always let them pay for their dinner.

Mari: That's not what I mean. This is a book I recommend you start reading. It's called _Facing Females : A Masculine Male Guide to Feminism._ If you don't read a chapter a week I will add another week to your session, do you understand?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Tres Iqus**

Mari: Tres, I can see how you would think that this session wasn't necessary, you being android. But you would be surprised how many androids I have helped to grow and mature.

Tres: I do not need to grow or mature. My height and width are acceptable.

Mari: I meant mentally.

Tres: Mentally?

Mari: In your head.

Tres: If I grow there, will not, my head expand.

Mari: No, don't worry, just trust me on this Tres. Now, I notice that android's tend to not take time to really appreciate themselves. Can you name a few things that you like about yourself?

Tres: I am not programmed to like or dislike things.

Mari: Well, I know it's hard to start out, so I'll begin.

Tres: You are not paying attention to anything I am saying.

Mari: You're honest, you're loyal, your handsome, and your a good fighter. Those are just a few things. I know that if I took the time, I could just go on and on.

Tres: This information is useless.

Mari: You may not think it is unnecessary information, but that's only because your not used to positive thinking.

Tres: Positive? But I use that word often.

Mari: Now, I mention your loyalty and that's good, but I think you spend too much time worry about the needs of others and not about your own needs.

Tres: It is my role to serve.

Mari: It is my job to help you rethink that role. I want you to read this book _Robot Reality: Fuses with Feeling._ I also want you to take this list and write at least one good thing about yourself until we meet again next week

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There are people who will analyze anything and there are books about everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, though I do recommend they take counseling.**

Welcome back to my counseling center and thank you for your reviews. I am planning analyzing every character ever to play a part in this anime. He, he, he, this going to be fun.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Hugue de Watteau**

Mari: Hello, Hugue, I was just going over you file. Let me see...mmm... Wow, I didn't know the Vatican went for that sort of thing.

Hugue: What are you talking about?

Mari: It's say's here that you're their "pole dancer."

Hugue: My code name is "Sword Dancer"!!!!!!!

Mari: Isn't that a pole you were carrying around.

Hugue: That is a staff!

Mari: Look, I'm not here to judge.

Hugue: It has a sword in it!

Mari: Okay, okay it's a sword. It also says here you are a good cook.

Hugue:...

Mari: And a very skilled fighter.

Hugue:...

Mari: Well, it seems we need to sharpen up our communication skills, so how about we try the word association exercise. I say a word and you say the first word that pops into your head. I'm sure you have heard of it.

Hugue: Very well.

Mari: Green.

Hugue: **Death.**

Mari: Bird.

Hugue: **Destroy**

Mari: Happy.

Hugue: **Revenge**.

Mari: Special.

Hugue: **Blood.**

Mari: Bunnies

Hugue:**Annihilation.**

Mari: Yes, well I think I have all the information I need from that test. Let's try something else. What are your goals?

Hugue: To kill vampires.

Mari: Your dreams?

Hugue: To kill vampires.

Mari: What you hope to gain from this class?

Hugue: To kill vampires.

Mari: There must be something else in you life besides killing vampires!

Hugue: Why does it matter so much to you unless... YOU ARE A VAMPIRE!

Mari: I not a vampire! Look at my teeth! No fangs! See! See!

Hugue: Oh good, because if you were a vampire, I would take me sword and jab it through your gut. Slowly I would pull the blade back through your innards, listening to your agonizing scream. As you lay they in a puddle of crimsome blood, I would slowly hack at you piece by piece until there was nothing left of you... not even an eyeball.

Mari: Excuse me. ( Mari begins to breathing into paper bag.) Yes, I feel better. I believe that's all for this week, we'll discuss more next week.

Hugue: Are you suggesting I _need _counseling?

Mari: It just a matter of routine.

Hugue: As you say.

(Hugue leaves.)

Mari:( on phone) Nurse, could you bring me an aspirin.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**William Walter Wordsworth**

Mari: Hello, William or would you prefer professor.

Professor: Professor, if you please.

Mari: Very well, now looking over your record I see...

Professor: Your can cut it out with the pretences, Dr. Mari.

Mari: I beg your pardon.

Professor: We both know that I am here so that the others won't feel bad.

Mari: So you think you don't need counseling.

Professor: Of coarse not. I am perfectly normal.

Mari: Well in you file it says that you were once a famed prodigy from Londinium University. You were expelled for working on questionable project with a partner ,Isaak Fernando Von Kamfer, who later became the inventor of the Rosenkreuz Orden. Not only that, but you were framed a fellow prodigy Issac Butler. Now you spend your time make invention that has a tendency to explode.

Professor: Well, I'm going to sound weird if you say it like _that._

Mari: Yeah, well, um, Professor sometimes highly education people tend to disregard that physicological needs.

Professor: Aren't those kinds of people annoying. What do you do with those kinds of those people? Do you just let them talk and talk and talk.

Mari: I guess you just hope that somehow,some day, they just catch on.

Professor: I bet you make jokes about those people.

Mari: Actually, I'm writing a book about some of the stranger cases who come into my office.

Professor: Is anyone I know going to be in it?

Mari: I know of one person. Of course, I have to the change names.

Professor: I wonder if I will recognize that person.

Mari: I doubt it. I set you up for an appointment for next week.

Professor: We'll keep fooling them, right.

Mari: Right.

(Professor Exits)

Mari: Nurse another aspirin, please, extra strength.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Kate Scott**

Mari: Hello, Kate.

Kate: Hello, Mari.

Mari: You know, I probably shouldn't be saying this, but it's nice to be finally talking to a woman in the group.

Kate: I'm glad to finally be able to talk to a councilor. I had a lot on my mind that I just really want to get out.

Mari: Well, how refreshing, so many people feel that they don't need help in this area. So go ahead and say whatever is on your mind.

Kate: Well, lately I felt totally tied down to my work. It's like were ever I go I can't escape from it .And no matter how hard I work feel like people think I'm asleep on the job.

Mari: Um Kate...

Kate: I try to project my personally, but I feel I have been failing lately. I feel like my life has no secrets, like people sees right through me.

Mari: Kate, are you making fun of me.

Kate: Maybe a little.

Mari: Have you ever considered a job as a comedian.

Kate: No.

Mari: Good.

Kate: Well, I'll see you next week.

Mari: Yeah.

(Kate leaves)

Mari: Nurse...

Nurse: Aspirin.

Mari: Drink, Alcoholic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Is there such a thing as a male pole dancer? Wait, never mind, I don't want to know.I had a lot of fun writing this. I the character information from wikipedia, so get mad at them if it's wrong._

**Reviews are important contributions and it your contributions that make it possible for our continue research at Trinity Counseling Center. So please look inside your heart and help support our program.**

**I thank you**.


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, though I do recommend they take counseling**

_Thank you for all of the reviews. I learn some good stuff and some bad stuff (there are male pole dancer shudder)._

_I just wanted you to know I am not against Psychology. What I am against are people who are in the news and media, or just in life in general, who over analyze. _

_There was a story my sister told my about this college that was giving a class based on studying just one book (probably a summer class or something.). The author of the book took the class and received a "C" from the professor. ON HIS OWN BOOK. _

_Psychologist, like this professor, create there own opinion and try to pass them on as fact. Not all them, mind you, just many of them. _

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Noelle Bor**

Mari: Welcome Noelle.

Noelle: Hi.

Mari: So what are your feelings about this counseling program?

Noelle: I'm all for it.

Mari: Good. Now looking over this information, I would say definitely have some hidden hostility toward your fellow workers and...

Noelle: But it's nothing compared to what you feel towards your fellow workers...

Mari: What?

Noelle: Wow, I mean I'm getting pure hatred. What are these people doing to you?

Mari: Well, they always take my food even though I clearly label it, they come in late, I know they're talking about me... wait your not suppose to be asking me questions, I suppose to be asking you questions.

Noelle: Have you ever just considered telling these people how you feel?

Mari: Stop that! Your not suppose to be counseling me I'm suppose to be counseling you.

Noelle: Of course, you don't hate all of them.

Mari: Huh?

Noelle: I am definitely getting a love vibe.

Mari: What!

Noelle: His name starts with an R, right?

(Mari blushes)

Noelle: Of course, we can just call him Doctor Love.

Mari: Stop it!

Noelle: You should totally tell him. Don't hide your love, announce it to the world. Is that a speaker phone?

Mari: No!!!

Noelle: Yes, it is!

(She grabs phone.)

Noelle: Excuse me every one Dr. Mari wants to make an announcement to a certain Doctor R...

(Grabbing Phone)

Mari: Ignore this everyone; this woman has serious mental problems. Please continue with your work.

Noelle: (Laughing) That wasn't nice. Well, when is my next session?

Mari: I don't think you need anymore sessions.

Noelle: Nice try, I'll be back next week. Now you think about what I've said.

(Noelle leaves)

Mari: I am so raising my fees.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Valclav Havel**

Mari: Hello Valclav, did I say that right?

Valcalv: Yes, that correct.

Mari: The first thing we should talk about...

Valcalv: I keep having this dream...

Mari: I didn't ask you about your dream...

Valcalv: I'm in this room and it's dark. Suddenly I see this ball, this red ball. I start to follow this ball and every time the ball lands I hear the sound of laughter. I try to catch the ball but I can't it bouncing too fast. I keep running and running and finally I catch it and the red ball turns blue. Now what does this mean?

Mari: What do you think it means?

Valcalv: I don't know, I'm not the psychologist here.

Mari: Okay, fine. I'm just generalizing here. Um...the dark room uncertainty in your life, the ball might be the goals in your life, the laughter...

Valcalv: No, no that's not it.

Mari: Okay um, maybe the dark room was the beginning of your life and the ball is you journey...

Valcalv: No, that's not it.

Mari: Forget the dream! Let's talk about something else. It says here that even that you're not always certain you chose right profession for yourself. Why do you think that?

Valcalv: I don't know. What you think?

Mari: I want you to tell me what you think?

(Silence for five minutes.)

Mari: Okay, as an example, do you feel that you don't have the skill of your colleagues.

Valcalv: No, that not it.

Mari: Or maybe you feel that you're personal feeling get in the way of doing your job well.

Valcalv: No, that's not it either.

( Mari puts her fingers at her temples and rubs them.)

Mari: Look I'm not a mind reader.

Valcalv: Yeah I know, Noelle told me.

(Mari cringes)

Mari: How am I suppose to help you if don't tell me anything.

Valcalv: I like what were doing. You just keep saying stuff and I'll tell you if you're right.

Mari: Oh, look your time is up. Goodbye now.

Valcav: See you next week.

( Valcav leaves)

Mari: Doubling my fees, definitely doubling.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Brother Petro**

Mari: Welcome, sit right down. Can I call you Petro?

Brother Petro: No.

Mari: Um, then Brother Petro.

Brother Petro: Brother Petro, SIR.

Mari: O-k-a-y, Brother Petro, sir. Your information sheet was very interesting. Apparently you have nothing listed under fears. You have no fears.

Brother Petro: I have no fears.

Mari: Everyone has fears.

Brother Petro: I have no fears.

Mari: You are in denial. You can not exist without fear.

Brother Petro: I HAVE NO FEAR!

Mari: Look you're a solider, right? If you don't admit your fear and face it, it might appear later in your life and without the skills to deal with it you would be letting you men down.

Brother Petro: Really?

Mari: Yeah.

Brother Petro: Well, since you put it that way... I guess do have one fear. It's... It's.. well hard talk about.

Mari: Perhaps it's a very of getting old.

Brother Petro: ( sadly) No.

Mari: Fear of the unknown.

Brother Petro: ( despairingly) No.

Mari: Um, fear of...

Brother Petro: ( sobbing) It's pickles.

Mari: Pickles!!!

Brother Petro: ( Weeping openly) Yes.

Mari: How did this... um...fear comes about.

Brother Petro: I started when I was a child. I always liked pickles and thought they like me. Until one day one of them tried to kill me.

Mari: A pickle tried to kill you?

Brother Petro: Yes, strangulation. Luckily I was able to resisted and escape with my life.

Mari: You ate a pickle and you almost choked on it.

Brother Petro: Yes, ( sobbing into his hands) and since them I never been able to face another pickle. I always just fall apart when I see one.

(Brother Petro is howling into his arms.)

Mari: There, there, Brother Petro, sir. We all have our problems, no matter how strange, and I here to help.

Brother Petro: Really?

Mari: Yes.

Brother Petro: Can I have a hug?

Mari: Uh, sure.

(He grabs her and squeezes the life out of her.)

Brother Petro: Thanks, I'll see you next week. Oh, and I want you to call me Petro, if you want to.

Mari: ( Gasping from his hug) Okay, see ya.

(Brother Petro leaves)

Mari: Maybe,... I... could... triple... my... fee...( passes out)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Sister Paula**

Mari: Welcome Paula or should I call you Sister Paula, Mame,

Sister Paula: You obviously have been talking to me my brother. Just call me Paula

Mari: Well, Paula, can I help you.

Sister Paula: I don't see how you can help me. I don't have any problems, I do my job efficiently and I feel that keep emotion well intact.

Mari: That's what I want to talked to you about. It's good to get these feelings out in the open, not hide them.

Sister Paula: No, thank you.

Mari: It will make you feel better.

Sister Paula: No, it won't

Mari: (She takes out her pen) Now, listen were no going to get...

Sister Paula: Is your pen pink?

Mari: Yes, it is.

Sister Paula: I just never have seen one like that before.

Mari: Oh, it's part of this cute Paris theme stationary kit, see.

Sister Paula: Oh, that really nice.

Mari: So that it!

Sister Paula: What!

Mari: There is a hidden feminine side to you that you have been suppressing all this years.

Sister Paula: What? Oh, no, no, no. You must be kidding

Mari: No, it's totally that.

Sister Paula: My feminine side.

Mari: Yeah you know. Girly stuff. Bubble bath, scented candles, pretty underwear.

(Sister Paula giggles)

Mari: I was mall I saw this sundess and strappy sandles that would look really great on you.

Sister Paula: We should, like, totally go.

Mari: Hey, um do you Noelle Bor?

Sister Paula: Yeah.

Mari: I'm pretty sure she's a hertic.

Sister Paula: Oh then I should probably go kill her...and then we could go get nails done.

Mari: You go girl.

( Mari and Paula give each other high fives and walk out of the room.)

Mari: I love my job.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_I AM SO EVIL. But I couldn't help put that last part in._

_Notes:_

_-Some people might wonder why these characters seem out of character. People act differently around psychologists. There are lots movies that you see this scene played out._

_So since I didn't know a ton about these characters I just played on that notion._

_-I am a girl an I still don't understand the whole pretty underwear thing. But I've heard it make you feel girly._

_- Who is Doctor R? It's a private joke, not gonna tell._

_-Please If there is anything you would like to see tell me in this story tell me. I love a good challenge._

_I can't stand it! I have to do RosenKreuz Orden Next. I'll hurry as fast as I can._


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, though I do recommend they take counseling.**

Mari: Welcome RosenKreuz Orden to Trinity Blood Counseling Center. Your supreme ruler and dictator for life Cain Nightroad...

(Cain stands and everyone claps politely)

Mari:... has asked me to gather you here to talk about the problems you been having and how to better function as a group. First of all, I'd like to say that everyone here is your friend. Second of all, Dietrich stop trying to make the nurse strangle herself.

Dietrich: Why does everyone blame me for self strangulation?

Mari: You can't strangle her anyway because we are all wearing silver neck braces. It also protects against any vampire attacks.

Cain: Where did you get those?

Mari: THSN.

Cain: THSN?

Mari: Terran Home Shopping Network.

Isaak: What's with these neck braces. I thought you said you were our friends, that you liked us?

Mari: I do like you, I just don't trust.

Cain: Hey, guys that's only fair.

Isaak: Yeah, I see what you're saying.

Radu: I think...

Dietrich: Nobody care what you think, Radu.

Radu: Doc-tor Ma-ri, Dietrich is being mean to me.

Mari: ( ignoring him) Now it's my belief that there are no villains in this world, only victims.

Isaak: So were just victims killing victims?

Mari: Um, no, that's not what I met. You see your bad actions are all part of a misunderstanding,

Dietrich: So if I killed you, it would be a misunderstanding.

Mari: No, that would be lawsuit.

Cain: Oh, yeah guys, I sign a contract and I can't afford for you to kill her. You know how expensive battle ships and death rays have gotten lately, so just keep it cool.

Dietrich: Ah, man.

Radu: I wasn't ever planning to kill her.

Isaak: Will you shut up!

Mari: Now what is the goal of meeting. Can anyone tell me the goal of this group?

Dietrich: To rule the world.

Mari: Right. Now you're not the first people to try this. People for centuries, have tried to rule the world and have failed. Do you know why?

Isaak: Because good triumphed over evil?

Mari: No, lack of communication. How on earth can you expect to dominate the world if you don't learn communicate with each other?

Dietrich: That makes good sense.

Mari: I going to be analyzing each of you personally to help you better reach this goal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Isaak Fernand von Kampfer**

Mari: Hello, Isaak, why don't you come and sit down right here.

Isaak: I thought I suppose to lay down on a couch or something.

Mari: Oh, no that just some old psychologist cliché.

Isaak:(Pouting) But if I don't lie down, how will you admire my beautiful body.

Mari: ( talking to self while writing on notepad) Narcissistic.

Isaak: What?

Mari: I s-a-id you're... artistic.

Isaak: Well, I do try adding special flare to my mass destruction.

Mari:( slightly pale) Yeah. It says here that you formed RKO.

Isaak: Yeah, it fist started out as a hobby, but now it's grown to a full fledge business.

Mari:( dryly) You must be so proud.

Isaak: I am. I mean, why bother with false modesty.

Mari: It says you have also been ...um... repairing Cain's body?

Isaak: That's right and if you'd like another arm or a third eye, I can totally get you the hook up.

Mari: Why would I want that?

Isaak: Why wouldn't you?

Mari: Yeah...um.. you've been complaining of stomachaches lately, but you're not sure where there coming from.

Isaak: That's right.

Mari: Have you ever thought they might be psychosomatic? Perhaps because of hidden guilt?

Isaak: Guilt? What on earth have I to be guilty about? I mean sure, I done some bad thing but at least I'm not dead like a lot of people I know.

(Silence for five minutes)

Mari: Your reasoning is ...beyond words.

Isaak: You know, now that I think about it, it could be because Susanne's been cooking lately.

Mari: (sighs) Thank you, Isaak, I'll see you next week.

Isaak: The pleasure has been all yours.

Mari: (on phone) Nurse could you remind my conscience again how much I'm getting paid for this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Dietrich von Lohengrin**

Mari: Dietrich, stop messing with my arms.

Dietrich: I'm not. You must be suffering from muscle spasms.

Mari: Fine. I won't analyze you and you'll have to face Cain with this knowledge.

Dietrich: Fine.

Mari: Okay, let's look at you information sheet. Um, under hobbies you put...betrayal?

Dietrich: Ha,ha,ha,ha( slaps knee) Yeah, it's the best hobbies ever.

Mari: You're serious.

Dietrich: What you do is, you is you act a sweet an innocent. You have to charming and cute like me. It's what they call natural talent. Then whittle into their trust until they can't do with out you and BAM!!! you crush them like a fly. It's a riot.

Mari: That's your idea of fun.

Dietrich: Yeah, I mean it is a hobby that takes a lot of hard work, but I think the rewards are worth it.

Mari: But you can only betray a person once, right?

Dietrich: Yeah, that the hard part. I've been trying to expand on that, but I'm not getting any help.

Mari: What do you mean?

Dietrich: I went to all these different book stores and not one of them had a book on betrayal as a hobby.

Mari: Really that... um .. ( cough) hard to believe.

Dietrich: Yeah, I know! You people are useless. And you wonder why we're killing you off.

Mari:( shivers) Let's talk about something else. You know, your body control skill is quite unusual. Where did you learn that?

Dietrich: Oh, that is an interesting story. (He leans back in his chair.) It happened to me when I was just a child growing up in Istavan. I was an orphan alone in the world, wondering the streets, slowly starving to death. One day, I past out, on what I later found out, was an abandon puppet stage. The puppets that lived there took me in,fed me and took care of me. They told me about the cruelty of humans who had always been using them and when they got tired of the puppets cast them aside. They wanted revenge, but they were so small there was nothing they could do.

So they taught me how to use the power of strings as a weapon.

Mari: So, then you left them to fulfill their revenge.

Dietrich: No, then I took a lighter and torched them and their stage. (Laughs hysterically) Betrayal is so much fun.

Mari: Well, that all I can stand... I mean all the time we have left.

Dietrich: This has been great. I can't wait 'til next week.

( Dietrich leaves.)

Mari: ( to herself) Ignore conscience, think about trip to Hawaii.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Radu Barvon**

Mari: Hello Radu, won't you sit down.

Radu: Thank you and might I say that I think that this is a very good idea.

Mari: You do?

Radu: Yes, I have a lot to get off my chest.

Mari: Guilt, perhaps?

Radu: Guilt? No, of coarse not. Stress.

Mari: Stress?

Radu: Yes.Work, work, work, that's all I do, night and day. It's always Radu, go burn up the tower, Radu, go kill you childhood friend, and Radu, go help us execute the empress. I never get time to rest, never any me time.

Mari: Have you tried telling you co-workers about this?

Radu: No, I have a hard time sharing my feelings. I did write a poem, though.

Mari: A poem?

Radu: Yes, it's a metaphor for the way I'm feeling right now. You want to hear it?

Mari: Well, not really...

Radu: Good.

( Radu takes a sheet of paper out of his pocket, stands up and clears his throat.)

Radu's Feelings by Radu Barvon

As a star shines in the evening sky

I make a wish that Dietrich would die.

And the midnight lark, the song she sings,

Is how he got strangled with his own strings.

A wish on the next star, as white as snow

I think that Isaak is the next to go.

It's only right and it's only fair.

Especially since I hate his hair.

Oh, brilliant moon, that shines bright and anew,

Cain dies next, I hate being told what to do.

Also kill Ion, the empress, Esther the queen.

And anyone else who comes in between.

As the night fades with the morning sun,

I dream of killing almost everyone

With guns and knives and violence and gore.

And so ends my metaphor.

Radu: I thank you. What do you think?

Mari: I...um...speechless. You do know what a metaphor is, don't you?

Radu: Of course. Do you need me to explain my poem to you? It's kind of hard to understand.

Mari: I think I got the jest of it. You're having problems with your co-workers.

Radu: Wow you're amazing. Did you ever write poetry?

Mari: No, and now I'm never going to.

Radu: Why?

Mari: Because mine could never compare to yours.

Radu: Thanks. I have another one I could read to you next week.

Mari: Oh, that's not ness...

( Radu's hand fire's up.)

Mari: That would be nice.

(Radu leaves)

Mari: One more, Mari, just do Cain and you can go back to be a human again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Cain Nightroad**

Mari: Hello, Cain.

Cain: I prefer that you call me Supreme Master Cain and by prefer, I mean demand.

Mari: Yes, Supreme Master Cain, sir.

Cain: So, go ahead and start analyzing me. Be truthful, just don't say anything I won't like. 

Mari: O---kay. It seems that you have had problems with sibling rivalry.

Cain: I don't have a problems, they have a problems. You see it was like this; I and my brother Abel, were out in space hanging around and having a good time. And there was this dumb chick named Lillith, and you know she was dumb because she prefer him over me. She was total ruining his life, telling him what to do, so I went and killed her, right. ( Chuckles) You should have seen the look on Abel's face when I showed him her body. It was a classic moment. (Begins to laugh loudly.)

(Mari laughs weakly)

Cain: Well, anyway, I have this little brat of a sister and she acted like I did something bad. Can you believe it? Anyway, she tries to kill my by dropping to earth, like that's gonna work. It did cause some damage but with Isaak's help, I pretty much back to normal and I got this great new group, so it's all good. Of, coarse I am planning to kill them both someday.

Mari: (shivering with fear) Talk...about...something...else.

Cain: Yeah, I really did'nt come to reminisce about good times. I came to see how the rest of the group is doing.

Mari: Yes, well they're interesting.

Cain: Yeah, well I don't let just anyone follow me. They all have to pass a special test.

Mari: Test?

Cain: Well, there's the kicking the puppy out in the snow test.

(Mari twitches)

Cain: You should have seen Isaak. He kicked that little guy at lest 10 feet.

(Mari whimpers)

Cain: Then there is the robbing the widows.

(Mari sighs)

Cain: Dietrich even brought back her dentures.

(Mari bites her lip)

Cain: And the last is my favorite, terrorizing the orphans. Radu set their playground on fire

Mari: That's it! I can't stand it anymore. I don't care how much you are paying me. There is nothing good about you or your crazy group. Your evil! Pure, unadulterated, evil! No, you're beyond evil. You people make evil look good! And you sir, are the CHAMPION OF ALL EVIL!!!!!!!!!

Cain: Gee, thanks. You really think that I am the champion?

( Mari thrown her notebook up in the air and run from the room screaming.)

( Issak enters the room)

Issak: Was that Doctor Mari I saw running down the hallway?

Cain: Yeah, I think she wants to join our group.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I had so much fun writing this. Of coarse it is all tongue in cheek and I don't promote violence of any kind. These characters are so fun to work with that I see myself working with them again soon.

This is actually Calvin's, from Calvin and Hobbes, name from his club G.R.O.S.S.

basically physical pain caused by emotion problems.

Something used to represent something else.

- I am a poet who likes making fun of poetry. Poets often take them self to seriously. Many poets hid their laziness behind free verse, just like Radu tried to hide his lack of talent behind sentiment and conformability, thinking no one would notice.

**Reviews are important contributions and it your contributions that make it possible for our continue research at Trinity Counseling Center. So please look inside your heart and help support our program.**

**I thank you**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, though I do recommend they take counseling.**

Mari: Welcome everyone to TBCC special leadership class. My name is Dr. Mari and I know you all know each other.

Francesco: Yes, we all know each other. We don't all like each other, but we know each other.

Mari: Um, yes,well, first we will write out our plans for leadership in our company or country and then we will be having private session to discuss it afterwards.

Alessandro: We have to be alone with you.

Mari: Don't worry, I don't bite.

Francesco: Bite? She's a vampire!

Caternia: She is not! Will you knock it off?

Alessandro: You're making so much noise.

Esther: There, there, your holiness, have a lollipop.

Alessandro: What flavor?

Mari: O---kay, um, back to our meeting. I have given each of you a paper contain plans for good leadership.

Esther: I have plans for good dictatorship or how to rule the world.

Mari :( quickly grabbing it from her) I'll take that. (Sets it on fire.) Here you go. (Hands her a new paper.)

Mari: Are there any questions? No? Okay, Alessandro you'll have the first session.

Alessandro: What? No! I die if I go first. Die, I tell you, die!

Francesco :( smacking him on the side of the head) Suck it up and be a man.

Caternia: Well, if you are such a man, you should go first.

Francesco: What, ...no.. I..uh...

Mari: Alright, then it's settled. I'll see you as soon as you finish you paper.

Francesco :( to Alessandro) You'll pay for this.

(Alessandro starts to cry.)

Esther: Lollipop?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Cardinal Francesco di Medici**

Mari: Cardinal Francesco, as your councilor, I think we should go on a first name basis. Don't you?

(He leans forward and stares at her. She smiles at him nervously.)

Francesco: Alright, but only as a great person favor on your part.

Mari: Um, thank you very much. Now let take a look at look at your form. Wow, you really put a lot of stuff down here.

Francesco: Yes, it has inspired me to pursue my dream of starting the H.A.V.E. program.

Mari: H.A.V.E.? Is that a charity?

Francesco: Heavens, no. H.A.V.E. stands for Heretics And Vampire Elimination program. It a non-negotiable, complete destruction of everyone on this list.

(He pulls out list.)

Mari: This thing has got to be, like, a thousand pages long.

Francesco: We round them all up...

Mari: I didn't even know there was this many people in Rome.

Francesco: ... start a nice little bon fire...

Mari: You have animal and insects in here...

Francesco: ...women and children first...

Mari:... and furniture?

Francesco: ...and if anyone is left, we could roast marshmallow.

Mari: This is ridiculous. There is no way this many people could be heretics and vampires, not to mention the animals and inanimate objects. You are obviously suffering from a persecution complex.

Francesco: What are you talking about?

Mari: It's when you feel like everyone is judging you and that you feel you have to lash in anger...or, uh, death.

Francesco :( he breaks down) It's true, there is some thing I feel that people are judging me about.

Mari: I think I know what it is. It because your a illegitimate son and can't be pope, right?

Francesco: (sobbing) No, it my hair. They all hate it, I can tell. Everyone else in the series has cool hair and mine is just awful.

Mari: Your hair?

Francesco: You hate it too, don't you? Just for that you're gonna fry.

Mari: You can't kill me.

Francesco: Why not?

Mari: This is a government job.

Francesco: Drat, foiled again.

(Francesco jumps up and leaps through the door.)

Mari: Note to self, sell house in Rome.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Cardinal Caterina Sforza**

Mari: Welcome, Cardinal Caterina, and may I say that I like your hair.

Caternia: I see you have been talking to Francesco.

Mari: Unfortunately, yes. Now,I know you already have devolved plans for your Ax group, so I like to take this time to discuss some problems that the member have written about, if that's okay?

Caternia: Oh yes, I was wondering how the AX counseling was going.

Mari: I pity you.

Caternia: That good, huh?

Mari: They anonymous listed some of the problems in leadership. I thought that we could discuss them.Number one: I think that would be nice if we could have a little more money on our mission. I mean, if that's okay, and no one will be angry, I, mean, uh, I'm so sorry, I...

Caternia: I wonder who that could be.

Mari: _Whoever_ it was was so worried his suggestion would upset you, he tried to eat the list before I could collect clipboard.

Caternia: Poor, Abel. Well, there is no crime against being frugal.

Mari: You can't be as bad as my mom. I mean, she washes plastic bags and hang paper towel out to dry.

Caternia: You know over a period of about twenty years you can save like 300...

(Mari gives her the "excuse me" look.)

Caternia: I'll try to spend a little more money.

Mari: Number two: I think you should look more modern.You should get your hair cut and consider wearing one contact instead of a monocle.

Caternia: Who wrote that?

Mari: Sorry, I can't tell you.

Caternia: I get a handwriting specialist.

Mari: This person wants you to...Oh wait, this must be Leon's. I'll use it to line my bird cage.The others pretty much just want to kill more vampires.

Caternia: There is my main problem. I wish I could do something to help find peace between the Tarren and the Methuselah.

Mari: You know what I suggest.

Caternia: What?

Mari: You get Vatican, the Ax members, the Methuselahs and take them to a wooded area. Set up some tents, make a nice camp fire, sing some camp song and really try to talk about your feelings.

Caternia: That's your suggestion?

Mari: Yeah.

Caternia: You get paid and all you have to do is say stuff like that.

Mari: And pretty good too.

Caternia: Well, I have to go. (To herself as she walk though the door. ) I wanted to study psychology, but my mother and father said, no, be a Cardinal. Now I stuck in this thankless, crummy job when I could be...

Mari: Note to self. Lower sell price on house in Rome and send fruit basket to Cardinal Caternia, poor woman.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Alessandro XVIII**

Mari: Welcome, your holiness. Do you mind if I just call you Alessondro?

(Hears mumbling and Mari looks up to see she is all alone.)

Mari: Alessondro? Where are you?

Alessandro: I'm behind the chair.

Mari: And dare I ask why?

Alessandro: I can't tell you, you'll yell at me.

Mari: No, I won't.

Alessandro: Yes, you will.

Mari: N-o, I w-o-n't.

Alessandro: Yes, you will.

Mari: NO, I WON"T.

Alessandro: You're yelling.

Mari: (Pauses and takes deep breath) Alessandro, sweetie, I won't get mad at you, if you just tell me.

Alessandro: There is a spider over there.

Mari: A spider?

Alessandro: Yes, a gigantic, ten foot spider over there, in that corner.

Mari: I'm looking in that corner and all I see is a tiny spider, less then inch, tall. In fact, that is not even a spider, that's a piece of lint. So, you see, there is nothing to be afraid of. You can come out now.

Alessandro: No, I can't.

Mari: Why not?

Alessandro: I'm afraid of lint.

Mari: Well, I've thrown it away, so there is nothing to be afraid of.

(Alessandro comes from behind the chair.)

Mari: Alessandro, is this how you always act? Afraid of everything?

Alessandro: Yes.

Mari: I'm so disappointed in you.

Alessandro: I know, I should act more mature, and noble and...

Mari: What on earth are you talking about? You are a teenage ruler right?

Alessandro: Um, yes.

Mari: Your not suppose to be acting noble or mature. You're supposed to be having wild parties or dating models, and stuff like that.

Alessandro: I am?

Mari: Yeah, or maybe escape from the cathedral, where you met a middle class, streetwise girl. You befriend her and have adventures and ultimately you fall in love with her.

Alessandro: I do?

Mari: Of coarse, and be sure to say things like, "I didn't choose this life" or "those are you dream not mine".

Alessandro: Are you sure?

Mari: Yes, Alessandro, this is you duty to a pre-adolescent girls everywhere. To bring forth, yet again, this already ridiculously overused story.

Alessandro: (Jumping up) I will do! If get a haircut were my hair falls in my eyes and acting outrageously naive can do it, then I will fulfill my destiny.

(Leaps through the door and a bunch of 11-14 year old girls follow him screaming as he exits the building.)

Mari: Note to self. Donate house in Rome to charity.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Queen Esther of Albion**

Mari: Welcome your highness, would you mind if I just called you Esther.

Esther: Why not? It's my name. (Giggle)

Mari: Um, yes.

Esther: Would you like a lollipop?

Mari: No, thank you.

Esther: O-Kay.

Mari: I see you written a lot down. Now bear in mind...um... Esther, are you okay?

Esther: (Blushing) Yes, but you said bare, you know, like naked.

Mari: And that embarrasses you.

Esther: Not really, but I have to blush every half hour or so. It's expected of me. It's all part of my plan, see right there on the paper.

Mari: Plan A: Make people happy by being an adorable queen.

Esther: I've been practicing. This is my pouting face, notice how my lip quivers.

Mari: This is my nauseated face, notice my stomach lurches. You can't possibly keep you subjects happy that way.

Esther: No? Well then I'll move to plan B.

Mari: Distract them with the queen's interesting love life.

Esther: ( Blushes again) Yes, you see, I like this guy Abel and he has white hair, which is really hot for some reason, which I not sure why, because like old people have white hair, and on them it not hot , but on young guys it is, but I'm not sure why. But then there is Ion and he has blond hair, which is not as nice as white, but then he has these cool red eyes, not like allergy eyes, but like the center of his eyes. Then there is the fact that when I kiss I like to kiss with my face up but when I hug I like to hug across. So when I kiss I rather kiss Abel as he is taller, but I rather hug Ion as he is just about my height, but then I can't just kiss Abel and just hug Ion, now can I?

Mari: None of that matters!

Esther: You're right. What matters is who is going to take me to the Royal Ball.

Mari: That is ridiculous!

Esther: Then I'll move to plan C. Sing a pop song.

(She grabs a microphone from nowhere and jumps on the chair.)

_I'm a queen_

_And I love you._

_But I'm not mean_

_And I love you._

_So cute, you'll hurl_

_And I love you._

_Just a fluffy, lovey girl_

_And I love you._

_This song has nothing to do with anything._

_But no a reason for me not to sing_

_I love you._(giggle, giggle)

(Esther jumps down from the chair and exits in a flurry of sparkles and roses.)

Mari: Note to self, cancel house search in Albion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

-Please don't write me and say how dare you make fun of Esther, she is a goddess, or how dare you make fun of j-pop, it's great. If you can see this as a joke I recommend you go to counseling.

**-**My mom really does wash plastic bags.

**- **Next time will be The New Human Empire.

**Reviews are important contributions and it your contributions that make it possible for our continue research at Trinity Counseling Center. So please look inside your heart and help support our program.**

**I thank you**


	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, though I do recommend they take counseling.**

Mari: Welcome every one from The New Human Empire. I would like to apologize for not warning you about that sunroof in the lobby; it kind of slipped my mind. But as none of you are fried to a crisp, I guess it's all right..Now as ambassadors of peace between Terrans and Methuselah it is important to learn to understand yourself better, so that you can work better as a group.

Seth: Would any one like refreshment? I brought tea.

Mari: I think everyone's okay.

Ion: What stuff are we going to talk about? (Blushes) Things like our love lives?

Asta: Love life? (She laughs) You're a kid you don't have a love life.

Ion: What's your excuse?

Asta: You brat, I'm going kill you.

Mari: Oh, please don't, we just recarpeted in her.

Asta: Wait until I get you outside.

Ion: Dr. Mari?

Mari: Yes.

Ion: Do you need a new assistant.

Asta: You'll have to come out some time.

Seth: Now you two stop it. The doctor going to think were weird or something.

Mari: Trust me, in this job, weird can not be defined. Anyway I hope that each of you learn something about yourself. (Whispers to herself) _and I hope that I will survive the next three sessions. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Empress Augusta Vradica or Seth Nightroad**

Mari: Welcome Empress Augusta.

Seth: Just call me Seth.

Mari: Oh alright Seth, you know you are much younger looking then I expected. I mean according to your chart, you are over a thousand and you don't look a day over five hundred.

Seth: Oh thank you. That's sweet of you to say.

Mari: How do you do it?

Seth: Well, I try to eat right and exercise, though I must say genetics probably has a lot to do with it.

Mari: I was wondering why you always carry that tea carrier thing around with you where ever you go.

Seth: Well you know the Empress business doesn't pay as well as it once did. You just got to do what you can to make ends meet. I am also going to medical school.

Mari: What do you want to study?

Seth: Anything but psychology. Only people who fail in all the other areas of medicine, take that junk.

Mari: Oh aren't you cute. I can't imagine why anyone would want to kill you.

Seth: Me, either.

Mari: I have told you that I have seen your other two brothers, haven't I?

Seth: Yes.

Mari: How would you describe your relationship with your siblings?

Seth: Abel is sweet, kind, generous, wonderful, loving, gentle, good and true. Cain is cruel, bitter, selfish, hateful, murderous, unfeeling, disgusting, and insane.

Mari: So it safe to say that you like one of brothers and dislike the other.

Seth: Um, Yeah.

Mari: A lot of it due to his murder of you fellow Crusnik, Lililth.

Seth: Right.

Mari: But isn't it true that he did not display these behavior patterns until you ejected him with hundred percent Crusnik.

Seth: Well, um...

Mari: And isn't it also true that you sentenced him to death for merely reacting to the transformation you forced upon him

Seth: But I brought him back to life.

Mari: Did he ask to be brought back to life?

Seth: He was dead.

Mari: Just answer yes or no...

Seth: Well, No.

Mari: So, really this is all you fault.

Seth: I feel so guilty. How did you do that?

Mari: I was going to become a lawyer before I decided to go into counseling. But it is good that you feel guilt.

Seth: How could it be good for me to feel guilt?

Mari: Well, your brother suffers from a guilt complex and now that you do too,.Now you'll have something in common and that will draw you closer.

Seth: I think you're the one who's crazy.

(Seth leaves in a huff)

Mari: I can't wait to get away from this place. (On phone) Hello, I like to get a plane ticket to Paris, France.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Ion Fortuna**

Mari: Welcome Ion, it nice to have you here.

Ion: It's, uh, nice to be here.

Mari: Now how can I assist you?

Ion: Well, sometime, I have to admit, deep down inside I feel afraid.

Mari: That's perfectly normal.

Ion: But, I don't want to be afraid, I want to courage, I want to be king of the forest. So what should I do?

Mari: First bring me the broom of wicked witch of the west. I, mean, first you need to find the source of you fear.

Ion: Well, it could be because I'm young, or I'm a Methuselah, or maybe because my life long friend betrayed me and tried to kill me, or maybe...

Mari: Hold it junior, what was that friend bit.

Ion: Oh yeah, do think that could be the cause of my fears?

Mari: Well, why did friend betray you?

Ion: I have no idea. I mean it couldn't be the time I shut him in the closet with a beehive, and the time I put tacks in his bed, oh (laughs) and there was the time I switched his sunscreen for tanning oil, and...

Mari: Actually I think your friend showed a lot of restrain waiting as long as he did. What stopped him from killing you?

Ion: Someone killed him first.

Mari: Well, that would do it. So now that he is dead what are you afraid of?

Ion: He might come back and a haunt me. What do you think?

Mari: I would. However I have a cure fore you.

Ion: Really.

Mari: Yes. Take this string of garlic, and wrap it around your head, now take this magic talisman and hang it on your nose, stand on one foot and say," Vengeful sprits depart forever more.."

Ion: What does this accomplish?

Mari: A few minutes of entertainment for you psychologist.

Ion: Very funny.

Mari: Well, it looks like our session is over.

Ion: No, you haven't told me how to win my true love Esther.

Mari: Queen Esther?

Ion: Yes.

Mari: Grow your hair out, dye it white, and wear platform shoes.

Ion: That's it.

Mari: Developed a taste for lollipops. Bu-bye.

(She shoves him out the door)

Mari: Hello, I like to cancel that ticket to Paris and make it to Australia. Yeah, there are less people.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Asta Asran**

Mari: Hello duchess, do you mind if I call you Asta.

Asta: Do you mind if I call the medical school that gave you your license to practice.

Mari: My, aren't we a little testy.

Asta: No, if I was testy I'd be slamming your face into that desk right now.

Mari: Just what seems to be the problem?

Asta: Well, my main problem is that I stuck in an office with some quack who trying to meddle into my personal life.

Mari: The problem I see for you is attitude.

Asta:The problem I see for you is living a few seconds longer.

Mari: Look the Empress said that you had to few anger issues AND I GOING TO HELP YOU RATHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

Asta: Looks like I'm not the only not the only one with issues.

Mari: (Opens the door) Oh Empress!

Asta: Okay, okay! I do this stupid thing.

Mari: Now in order to resolve this problem we have to get to the root of the problem.

Asta: Whatever.

Mari: Now I heard that something happen to you in the past.

(Asta looks uncomfortable)

Mari: Something so horrible that it turned your hair white except for that small piece of red.

Asta: I don't want to talk about.

Mari: If you get it out you will feel much better.

Asta: I can't it just too horrible.

Mari: I'm here for you. Come on, you can do it.

Asta: Well, It happened one day when I was visiting Rome on a secret mission. I was walking along the beach, minding my own business, and suddenly I saw a figure resting on the beach it was...no... I can't go on it's just too terrible.

Mari: Please try, it will be better if you get all out.

Asta: It was Cardinal Francesco in a thong!

Mari: Ahhhhhh, horrible mental image overload.

Asta: Curse you Terrans! Curse you and your strange bathing apparel!

Mari: No wonder you hated Tarrens so long. I think some of my hair is turning white.

Asta: You know I do feel better getting it of my chest.

Mari: I don't fell so well.

Asta: I think I'll go pick up some lunch, can I get you anything?

Mari: No, thanks.(gagging)

Asta: Well, bye.

Mari: Hello, I like to cancel that plane ticket to Australia. Yeah, I like to make them for Antarctica.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well this end of Welcome to Trinity Blood Counseling Center. But do not despair, this is not the last of our adventures with Dr. Mari and the Cast of Trinity Blood, She is however going on a months vacation to give me time to catch up on a few of my other projects and give me a good head start on a new story I'm writing. I hope to drop bits of TBCC humor throughout the month as well.

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, it has really made writing this fun. And remember _randomness is just a word and not something you eat._


End file.
